I always wanted to be a mommy, but my life took many “long-cuts” to my heart’s true calling. I went on the path of an insatiable business woman, always rising to the top in my various jobs. In the last 8 years I owned a mildly successful dance school in Houston, Texas and started a much more lucrative photography business, among many other exciting experiences. But finally, I met Mr. Right, and we started a family.
My idea of what pregnancy would be like couldn’t be further from reality. I filled my head for 30+ years with images of happy pregnant women rubbing their bellies and eating cake. I certainly did that too, but my pregnancy was extremely uncomfortable and exhausting. I was a fit athlete in my prime that was suddenly knocked over with hyperemesis gravida (extreme morning sickness that lasted all day and up to 40 weeks– the day I went into labor), sharp electrical pains in my bladder, and almost every other typical pregnancy symptom on top of that. I had difficulty walking, let alone doing anything athletic. I gained more than 50 pounds (and it wasn’t baby weight). The list goes on… but the point is that pregnancy was NOT pleasant or enjoyable, and I realized fairly quick that either everyone lies about pregnancy or there is something really exceptional about mine that made it so difficult. For someone who rarely complains, and is pretty easy going, I couldn’t believe other women didn’t have more advice for soon-to-be-moms about the actual pains of pregnancy.
I kept thinking right after Lucia was born that I better quickly write this stuff down so I can help someone else (before I forget) because the truth is, we do forget. In the weeks after birth I could tell the memories of the worst pain of my life were fading. The reason why no one really talks about how difficult it is, is because we forget the pain. It’s this amazing mechanism of the human body that heals us so we can go on and live without horrid memories creeping back into every moment. My husband says it’s so we can continue to survive as a species because who would have children if they knew it was the most insane nightmare they would ever experience (specifically talking about birth here). That makes sense to me, but as I thought about the pain fading from memory there is one thing I couldn’t shake– the effects of the drugs. I had a c-section like many women. It was unplanned and after 48 hours of advanced, non-progressive labor. It was completely unexpected and recovery was worse than any other pain through my entire pregnancy, but the medicines they tried prior to the surgery caused frightening hallucinations and extreme paranoia. It made the already very difficult situation, a living nightmare.
I felt like I failed at giving birth because I BEGGED for a c-section after 48 hours.
I felt like I was a disappointment to my husband and myself. I couldn’t dilate, I couldn’t take the pain, I was going out of my mind from the drugs… How could I bare to do this again, and again… we wanted a minimum of 3 children after all. I felt like my dreams of having more children were shattered, which magnified the feelings of thinking other people were disappointed in me.
My step-mom-in-law kept reassuring me that next time the c-section would be planned and scheduled. I would be much stronger with plenty of sleep and no excessive drugs– even the anesthesia would be unlikely to fail with such a quick procedure such as a c-section. For some reason I just couldn’t accept this. Everything she said was absolutely correct, but I kept going back to the fact that we wanted natural childbirth and the pain of the c-section took 6 weeks to subside.
I mean, 6 weeks of severe sharp pain and no muscle strength, feeling like your body is cut in half, is probably totally worth it to have another baby (and I mean this with no sarcasm). I do believe it is an acceptable sacrifice to make in order to have another child.
But I just keep going back in my mind to this: why does it have to be such a shock to a woman to go through these things when bringing in a baby? Having a baby is the most important thing a human being can do. Our species will not exist unless we continue to have babies, and I think every pregnant mother should be treated with respect and care. Why in our world today, after everything we know about pregnancy and birth, are there not more resources, truth, and training for first time moms?
I want to change that.
I want to create a more positive experience for pregnant moms so that they know what to expect without the sugar coating and unrealistic images that society throws at us. I want other first time moms to know the short-cuts that I learned during pregnancy and in the first months after giving birth. So that is the point of this blog. Going forward I will start at the beginning and discuss secrets and tips that helped me survive the most grueling experience in life, and while I cannot take away the pain, I hope to take the edge off for other women. If you find my blog helpful, please share it with your friends. We pay for this blog right now solely with the proceeds of Lucia Loves products, currently sold on Etsy so if you find this information has helped you, please consider supporting the continuation of this blog by purchasing one of our products.
It’s not my goal to make a living with this blog or to become the TOP blog on the internet. There are many wonderful women I personally follow who have made blogging their life’s calling, and I’m going to leave that space to them. I just want to support other women out there, so if you feel my posts are encouraging or inspiring you, please reach out and let me know (or tell me what information you’re looking for– if I have it, I will share it with you!).